I am, perhaps, a bit of a control freak. I love schedules, lists, and knowing 'the plan'. While I don't feel the need to be the leader or micro-manage all aspects of a project once I know my own part I put everything I have into getting it right. As it turns out, farming is a terrible profession for a control freak. Need rain? Can't make it happen. Too much rain? Too bad. Want the critters to remain in their fence rather than jumping/running through/tearing it down in search of spring grass? In your dreams... One of the hardest areas for me to accept my lack of control is dealing with sick animals. I want to be able to make them all better but the reality is that there is only so much that I can do to help them, and the healing is not ultimately up to me!
Last week was especially challenging when we were faced with a premature foal and the associated struggles that brings. I knew that the mare was close to foaling and suspected that she could have some problems so we were watching her closely. On Monday morning around 12:30 she went into labor. At first all seemed well, but after a few minutes it became clear that we were facing a foaling complication. She had a 'red bag' delivery, which means that the placenta separates too early in the process and the foal is not receiving any oxygen during delivery. This is a situation that every foaling attendant knows is a MAJOR emergency. No time to get the vet out to solve it- you have to act right away and do what it takes to deliver the foal. Thankfully, the mare was pushing hard and with some extra pulling from me we had the baby on the ground and breathing quickly. Little did I know that would be the easy part of the process! Her little colt, now named Thumper, showed several signs of being premature including very weak joints on his front legs. He was unable to stand up and nurse and despite our attempts to feed him with a bottle he refused to take it. We made a desperate call to our livestock vet at 4 am and she came out to get milk into him with a nasal tube. Over the course of the first day, Thumper figured out how to stand on his wonky legs and tried to start nursing but generally without success. Thus began a long process of stopping in every 1-2 hours to stand him up, encourage him to nurse, and supplement with a bottle as we were able. We considered admitting him to an equine hospital but given his spunk and willingness to try, as well as his excellent antibody readings at 24 hours old indicating that he received the needed colostrum from his mother, we decided that we would invest the time and energy to keep him up and nursing at home since it was primarily a matter of giving his body time to mature to where it needed to be.
Throughout the week we faced several additional complications, including dehydration, constipation, an umbilical stump that doesn't want to close off, and a mare who did not come into milk as strongly as she should have. There were some very discouraging days and we were exhausted trying to keep on top of his care. Thankfully, as he gained interest and experience in nursing Thumper was also better able to keep up his energy and needed less prodding from us to stand and move. A real turning point came when we applied a set of hoof boots recommended by the vet that help him to stand correctly on his hoof, which drastically improved his balance and desire to be up and about.
Thumper's first week was hard. As much as I wanted to make him eat and stand and be healthy I just didn't have the power. There were lots of tears of frustration and exhaustion. And lots and lots of prayers. Again and again in this farming journey I'm reminded that ultimately control is an illusion. Only the Lord himself can heal the littlest hurt or the biggest health complication and as hard as I try the success of my efforts isn't in my hands. And as difficult as it is for this control freak to remember and surrender to that truth it's only there that I can find the peace and encouragement that I need to not break under the pressure. All of which doesn't mean that we quit trying. On the contrary, we put all the effort and skill we have into providing the best care possible trusting that it's the right thing to do. I've learned a few new skills this week (many of which I hope not to need again!) and we have been blessed with an amazing team of vets, family, and friends to help us out along the way.
Despite the challenges there have been numerous reminders throughout the week that we are not left to fend for ourselves in this. On Monday, I 'just happened' to wake up a half hour before my scheduled mare check- in time to see that she was nearing delivery and mentally prepare myself to assist, rather than arriving partway through the process. On Wednesday, our horse vet 'just happened' to be coming for some other scheduled work and was able to address Thumper's lethargy and dehydration, putting in a catheter that we used to administer fluids and medication for several days. The boots we needed had to be special ordered and while I could have the boots shipped overnight the glue used to apply them couldn't be sent by air and was going to take a few extra days. A desperate Facebook post and a phone call later I was in touch with a farrier who 'just happened' to live in the next town over and was willing to come out at the end of a long Saturday work day to put the boots on. And this doesn't even begin to cover the overwhelming support from our community: our vet friends who came out in the middle of the night and did several more check-ins throughout the week as well as answering a million questions via text messaging and those who provided the equipment and guidance needed to help us treat both his emergency dehydration and his long term leg issues on the farm, family members who loaned us equipment, ran errands, or checked critters at our other farm to save us a trip out, friends who gave up a day to foal-sit or took on night-time foal checks to allow us to get some sleep, and our amazing online community who offered prayers and messages of support. The list goes on and on.
Thumper is looking so much better than he did a week ago. He still has some issues to work through- including strengthening his legs over the next few weeks so we can see how he does without the boots- but for the moment he no longer looks like he hangs in the balance between life and death. We'll continue to care for him the best way we know how. I'll likely continue to stress out over his care and addressing any setbacks. But we remind ourselves and each other to surrender that burden to the one who can resolve it and we lean on our community as we all cheer him on together. You can do it, Thumper!
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